SATIRICAL WORDS ON FRANCE
AND THINGS FRENCH
(More Patriot Humor To Come)
General George Patton About French Military
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
Conan O'Brien on French and Saddam Hussein
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French!"
Jacques Chirac, French President, on War
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
Rush Limbaugh Replies to Chirac's Statement
"As far as France is concerned, you're right!"
Jay Leno About French Help to Get Saddam Out
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
Gen. Norman Swartzkopf on War Without French Help
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
David Letterman on French Demands For "More Proof"
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
Comments By Unknown Person About France
"One thing that France has, and that is the ability to surrender! Anyone who counts on France to help them fight is absolutely void of brain mass. If I had French wine in my house, I would pour it down the drain, or French champagne."
Sen. John McCain on France
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
Marge Simpson, On France and Doing Something
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Regis Philbin, on French and Going to War
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."